I haven't written in a few weeks and I kinda of regret it. I guess I just got so caught up in the madness that was finals, Maddie's arrival and saying goodbye to some of the most amazing people that I have ever had the honor to meet. Everyone talks about studying abroad as a life changing experience, blah blah blah. I chose MC and even my major with the knowledge and excitement to study abroad. It has been something that I have been looking forward to since I was young, but as I sit here trying to sum it up, I am at a loss for words.
I can't recount the number of nights that we have sat in the park, or in a piso in the last weeks, grasping at the moments that we knew were our last together. Despedidas in la ciudadela, final juevinxos, fiestas to thank our mentors who became our friends, and nights that turned into mornings being silly, and being together. My last month of memories are some of the ones that I will hold closest to my heart when I reflect on this semester in the years to come.
I spent a lot of the last month being sentimental and crying (is anyone really surprised?) because I honestly can't describe how unfair it all seems. To some people I talked about how it's un-fathomable at the start of an experience like this to think that in a few short months you can make friends who change and shape you and who you know you will meet again some day. I think the worst part is knowing that nothing will ever be the same as this experience.
When you leave home for college, your home, your parents, and even many of your friends will always be in that place. Next year when I graduate MC, I am confident that there will be homecomings, reunions, and times when many of us will gather in the foothills of Chilhowee and even if only for a short time, it will be like old times. But I have now left Pamplona, and at any given time in the rest of my life, the entire group that became my family, that took me in, and that loved me, will never be in the same place at once and a city that I have loved will feel slightly empty and a little wrong without all of "my people".
My last night in pamplona I remember laying in bed and thinking "there is a kind of permanence in this moment, the end is not near, it is here". Even if this is the end though, I know that every ending creates new beginnings and that's what I'm doing now. As I sit here, on a train en route to Amsterdam with one of my best friends in the world, I am nothing short of thrilled for the month and a half ahead of me. Our travel itinerary is extensive and will make this summer one of the best of my entire life. I can't wait to see new parts of the world and to explore so many new cities with Maddie and what's even better is now we have people all over to visit and to meet up with.
Our journeys will take us North, East, and South before we finally head west over "the pond" but even the idea of that is exciting. I can't wait for the year ahead and to meet up with all of my friends and family. It's a bittersweet feeling, but I know that all parts of life really are part of a circle and my circle and my heart just continue to grow. I have learned that your heart is never full, that there is always room for new people, but that no matter where or who you leave, part of them is always with you. I may have come to the end of #mividaenpamplona but be certain that I am loving #livinlavidaeuropea and that next year I will take on being a senior with full force, a new mindset, and greater passion for life.
Besos y hasta Sanfermin,
Brittany