I reconnected with an old friend this last week.
It's funny that it took an ocean between us to remind me how much they meant to me.
It's opened my eyes. A lot. On what really matters, what rage and resentment do to you when you let them fuel you for so long, what forgiveness really is. Reconnecting with them has helped me to let go of so much anger I didn't know I had been holding on to. Not just towards them, but towards a lot of people in my life.
Everyone tells you forgiveness isn't for them, it's for yourself. Turns out that's the damn truth.
That's been one of the best parts of my week, since I've spent the last seven days miserably sick. Just as the Prague Quadrennial festival began, I had to go and catch a stupid bug. BUT I have still gone to the festival as much as I can and I have seen the most amazing, ridiculous things.
Of all the performances I've seen for the PQ, the one I loved the most was a walking tour at 7:00 am. We all wore headphones and listened to ominous music while following a man, a young boy carrying a bag of water, a woman in a white tattered wedding dress and a woman in a long, flowing red dress. We followed them across the Charles Bridge, down the river, across another bridge to a small island in the middle of the Vltava River. We occasionally stopped and watched them dance or fight with one another. When we reached the edge of the island, the woman in red took my arm in hers and led me to the little boy. This whole time I hadn't realized his bag of water had a fish in it. He released the tiny fish into the river and we all looked out at the sunrise on the river. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever experienced.
The PQ has not been this phenomenal the entire time. Some performances have left me feeling confused and bizarre. But I have learned something from every single show I've seen, whether it's a new lighting technique or an innovative set design. Watching theatre isn't just fun for me. I'm taking notes and learning with every single cast and crew.
I have also just started my third theatre gig in Prague. That's right, THIRD! This is an outside company renting Prague Shakespeare Company's space. This one is not for internship hours (since it's not PSC). I'm doing this for experience and my resume. I'm actually not stage managing. I walked into this show with the intention of helping the lighting designer hang/focus lights. What I've done so far has included rearrange ALL the seating, hang/focus lights, (watched someone else) figure out the sound board, plug in and secure electrical props, but mostly I've just watched and learned from the lighting designer. He's the same person that directed my first production Shiner. He has taught me some pretty kickass ways to manipulate lights (like what to do when you don't have a gobo and need your light to mimic a cell window or how to create your own barn door).
In my internship class, I had to give a presentation on my internship. I talked about PSC, their mission and the work they do. I also talked about what I've done for my internship and how I've gotten theatre gigs since. My teacher was incredibly impressed (which made me feel great). He asked me, "So are you staying longer for these jobs?" I told him all these gigs are temporary and being completed in the time I'm here.
Then he asked, "If your internship offered you a full-time job, would you stay?"
What a question! I didn't know how to answer. I stumbled on my words and said, "I don't know. I mean, of course, yes! It's Prague, and I have jobs here, and I love it here! But relocating and visas and money..." And friends and family and the degree I still haven't finished yet...
It's terrifying and exhilarating thinking about the potential Prague has for me if I ever relocated here. I don't know what I want to do for my career anymore, let alone with the rest of my life!
I love theatre, I love Prague. But I'm homesick. I made sweet tea and a pecan pie yesterday I was so homesick.
And I'm not a spontaneous person.
Well, I wasn't until I got here. I've been incredibly spontaneous since I've come to Prague. In fact, last week I got a tattoo. It's a red moon behind my ear (as a reference to my first show here Shiner).
So I suppose no matter what I do, or where I go, I'll always have a bit of Prague with me right behind my ear.
It's funny that it took an ocean between us to remind me how much they meant to me.
It's opened my eyes. A lot. On what really matters, what rage and resentment do to you when you let them fuel you for so long, what forgiveness really is. Reconnecting with them has helped me to let go of so much anger I didn't know I had been holding on to. Not just towards them, but towards a lot of people in my life.
Everyone tells you forgiveness isn't for them, it's for yourself. Turns out that's the damn truth.
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| The Woman in Red |
Of all the performances I've seen for the PQ, the one I loved the most was a walking tour at 7:00 am. We all wore headphones and listened to ominous music while following a man, a young boy carrying a bag of water, a woman in a white tattered wedding dress and a woman in a long, flowing red dress. We followed them across the Charles Bridge, down the river, across another bridge to a small island in the middle of the Vltava River. We occasionally stopped and watched them dance or fight with one another. When we reached the edge of the island, the woman in red took my arm in hers and led me to the little boy. This whole time I hadn't realized his bag of water had a fish in it. He released the tiny fish into the river and we all looked out at the sunrise on the river. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever experienced.
The PQ has not been this phenomenal the entire time. Some performances have left me feeling confused and bizarre. But I have learned something from every single show I've seen, whether it's a new lighting technique or an innovative set design. Watching theatre isn't just fun for me. I'm taking notes and learning with every single cast and crew.
 |
| Releasing his fish into the river |
In my internship class, I had to give a presentation on my internship. I talked about PSC, their mission and the work they do. I also talked about what I've done for my internship and how I've gotten theatre gigs since. My teacher was incredibly impressed (which made me feel great). He asked me, "So are you staying longer for these jobs?" I told him all these gigs are temporary and being completed in the time I'm here.
Then he asked, "If your internship offered you a full-time job, would you stay?"
What a question! I didn't know how to answer. I stumbled on my words and said, "I don't know. I mean, of course, yes! It's Prague, and I have jobs here, and I love it here! But relocating and visas and money..." And friends and family and the degree I still haven't finished yet...
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| Sweet Tea and Pecan Pie in the works |
I love theatre, I love Prague. But I'm homesick. I made sweet tea and a pecan pie yesterday I was so homesick.
 |
| Wish Upon a Moon |
Well, I wasn't until I got here. I've been incredibly spontaneous since I've come to Prague. In fact, last week I got a tattoo. It's a red moon behind my ear (as a reference to my first show here Shiner).
So I suppose no matter what I do, or where I go, I'll always have a bit of Prague with me right behind my ear.