Have you even been a wheel? Like an odd wheel? Like...third wheel...fifth wheel...seventh wheel?
Usually, I'm perfectly okay with being a wheel. I revel in being the wheel. It's a lot of fun, especially when you're in good company! You poke fun at those you're wheeling along with, and you all have a great time. It's great!
Lately, though, I've been struggling with being a wheel. As you guys know from a previous blog post, I just got out of a relationship. Okay...just might be the wrong word...it's been two month-ish. It didn't JUST happen, but it still feels new and fresh okay? I dunno.
ANYWAY, time line aside, the whole wheeling thing has been getting under my skin. My group of close friends have been pairing off with one another, with other international, or with Moroccan students, which is FINE! I'm totally happy for them! This post is not about how I wish they were all single like me, blah blah blah. Some days it's just hard, you know?
Sometimes it's hard to not feel out of place. Everyone has a partner or whatever you wanna call it, and I'm over here like: "Rigatti, party of one". Haha!
I'm trying really hard not to feel so out of place, but some days my thoughts get the better of me, and I have to go be alone and either run, write, or cry it out, which works and is a pretty healthy way of dealing with it! I dunno.
I also don't want to bring it up to people here, you know? Like, what am I supposed to say? "Hey guys, I'm feeling a lot like a wheel, could we not hang out with your significant others?" I dunno. AWKWARD! Haha! I also don't want to seem like I'm not having a good time here because I AM! I'm enjoying myself so much! I wouldn't trade this experience for ANYTHING!
It's a weird subject to bring up. I dunno. I don't want to be the downer of the group that always has to talk about her problems...her 'boy problems' nonetheless. I also just don't like talking about it much anyway because...I dunno. It's personal. I dunno. How many times have I said that now? Like...five or six? Weird...
Going through this breakup has definitely given me a lot to reflect on since I've been abroad. I'm acutely aware of how men and women interact, especially on campus. People are very forward about touching and do not hesitate to use PDA, which is actually a bit uncomfortable for me at times, but not for reasons that you would think!
PDA just isn't really my thing. I didn't like while I was in a relationship, and people aren't quite so forward in public spaces back home, at least I've never noticed it this much before. Students make out in open areas and sit in each others laps and what not. It's a bit odd for me.
I also notice how men treat women in public. The catcalling and harassment gets on my nerves very quickly because my inner-feminist comes out. I just want to look at these men and say: "How would you feel if your girlfriend/sister/mother was treated this way?" of "Is this how you treat your mother or sister?" It honestly just boggles my mind. Then I have to remind myself that I'm in a different country with a completely different set of values and culture, so I grit my teeth, laugh it off with friends, and ignore the nonsense. (One day, I promise, I'll post a blog of all the different things my friends and I have heard while walking off campus...it's pretty entertaining after the fact.)
Needless to say, I'm very excited that Spring Break is just around the corner because that means that my mother is coming! I get to see her and my Auntie T, and vent to them about all my 'boy troubles'! Haha! Moms just always know how to make everything better, and getting a hug from mine will just make the world a more beautiful and bearable place. I'm also going to Europe where I can FINALLY have a glass of wine with my dinner. I'm pretty excited about that!
Usually, I'm perfectly okay with being a wheel. I revel in being the wheel. It's a lot of fun, especially when you're in good company! You poke fun at those you're wheeling along with, and you all have a great time. It's great!
Lately, though, I've been struggling with being a wheel. As you guys know from a previous blog post, I just got out of a relationship. Okay...just might be the wrong word...it's been two month-ish. It didn't JUST happen, but it still feels new and fresh okay? I dunno.
ANYWAY, time line aside, the whole wheeling thing has been getting under my skin. My group of close friends have been pairing off with one another, with other international, or with Moroccan students, which is FINE! I'm totally happy for them! This post is not about how I wish they were all single like me, blah blah blah. Some days it's just hard, you know?
Sometimes it's hard to not feel out of place. Everyone has a partner or whatever you wanna call it, and I'm over here like: "Rigatti, party of one". Haha!
I'm trying really hard not to feel so out of place, but some days my thoughts get the better of me, and I have to go be alone and either run, write, or cry it out, which works and is a pretty healthy way of dealing with it! I dunno.
I also don't want to bring it up to people here, you know? Like, what am I supposed to say? "Hey guys, I'm feeling a lot like a wheel, could we not hang out with your significant others?" I dunno. AWKWARD! Haha! I also don't want to seem like I'm not having a good time here because I AM! I'm enjoying myself so much! I wouldn't trade this experience for ANYTHING!
It's a weird subject to bring up. I dunno. I don't want to be the downer of the group that always has to talk about her problems...her 'boy problems' nonetheless. I also just don't like talking about it much anyway because...I dunno. It's personal. I dunno. How many times have I said that now? Like...five or six? Weird...
Going through this breakup has definitely given me a lot to reflect on since I've been abroad. I'm acutely aware of how men and women interact, especially on campus. People are very forward about touching and do not hesitate to use PDA, which is actually a bit uncomfortable for me at times, but not for reasons that you would think!
PDA just isn't really my thing. I didn't like while I was in a relationship, and people aren't quite so forward in public spaces back home, at least I've never noticed it this much before. Students make out in open areas and sit in each others laps and what not. It's a bit odd for me.
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| We like Hagrid's bike A LOT! |
Needless to say, I'm very excited that Spring Break is just around the corner because that means that my mother is coming! I get to see her and my Auntie T, and vent to them about all my 'boy troubles'! Haha! Moms just always know how to make everything better, and getting a hug from mine will just make the world a more beautiful and bearable place. I'm also going to Europe where I can FINALLY have a glass of wine with my dinner. I'm pretty excited about that!